So how does any parent come out on the other end of parenting still in their right mind? By all accounts my wife and I have two healthy, happy, intelligent, well adjusted children, and yet there are those moments where I have to shake my head and ask either of them, “on what planet does that sound like a good idea?” Yesterday, we had two of them running simultaneously.

I’m in Dynamo’s room, going through the wake up drill. Now, for the record, Dynamo’s not a morning person. For all of her energy, spunk and attitude, she takes a little while to build up steam and start her day. She likes for me to hang out and lounge on the bed a while next to her. We talk softly about how she slept and the things that she might do that day, etc. Today, I set myself down on her bed, settle in and we start to chat. After a few moments, I realize I’m moist. Great. The two year old has wet the bed, and I’m lounging in it. Poor decision making on my part not to check. Definitely a risk you take when sharing the bed with a toddler after a full night’s sleep. I’m not upset with the situation until I notice in looking at her squirm, I realize that I can make out the outline of her undiapered bottom through the profile of her soggy pajamas. Which, by the way are still zipped up from toe to chin.

“Dynamo,” I say, “did you take your diaper off last night?” She looks at me like I’ve just grown a second head on my shoulder and says, “no, undid it!” After all, why would you possibly got through the effort of actually taking the diaper off when you can simply unfasten it from one side? So now I’m managing the fall out of this little disaster….change the toddler, dress the toddler, strip the bed, (no clean sheets, so Mama gets to play too, and make the bed later) running through my own laundry inventory, figuring out if I have another clean shirt for the day.

It’s at this point, that I realize the Whirlwind has come in. He sits down in the rocker in Dynamo’s room and he’s batting a balloon on a ribbon like a volleyball serve. He holds it in front of his face, raises his free hand and thwacks it sharply, down and away. After about the third serve, I realize he’s not chasing the balloon after each smack. He’s got the handle end of the ribbon tethered to something. So I look a little closer. Now I see that he’s hooked the loop end of the ribbon around his loose tooth, and this whole exercise is his attempt to extract his loose tooth! I’m thinking to myself, “it’s a technique. Not the preferred technique, but it IS a technique.”

I was going to say something and just decided bag it. Either the tooth comes out or it doesn’t. It’s not the way I’d have gone about it, but hey, at least he didn’t actually go into the tool box and help himself to a pair of pliers!

So there you have it. I have a 2 yo who will risk sleeping cold and soggy, rather than be inhibited by a diaper, and a 7yo who’s gone to the Looney Tunes Academy of Dentistry. Now it’s your turn to share. What are some of the head slapping, what-were-you-thinking things your kids have done or said that made you question whether or not you’ll come out the other side of parenting with your sanity in tact?

Advertisements