Like most parents I have days where I wonder, “am I really doing right by my kids? Am I raising them right? Am I getting through to them? Am I teaching them the right things?” I worry about it more with my daughter than I do with my son.

It’s easier with my son. I get him. He’s a boy. He’s 12. That’s familiar territory for me. Been there, done that. He has his mother’s brain. I have 20+ years of learning the ins and outs of that system and negotiating that terrain.

Lil Bit’s a whole other thing. There’s the difference in gender, race, the adoption. There are just all of these things that are so very different. These are all variables with which I have no previous experience. It’s all uncharted territory.

Add all of that in with her temperment and things are frequently volatile. Where the boy is analytical and calculating, Lil Bit is pure unchecked emotion. There is no good in her vocabulary. Everything she enjoys is EPIC! There is no bad in Lil Bit’s world. If she doesn’t like it, it’s HORRIBLE and she HATES IT! It’s just how she’s wired and she is absolutely volcanic.

So many nights I lay my head on the pillow at the end of day and rewind the day’s interactions with her and I worry.

This morning I received this card from Lil Bit for Father’s Day.


For those of you that don’t read punctuation free 7 yo, I will provide a transcript:


I love you so much. I will not be home some days and those are the days I will miss you and love you more; and you are the best coach on Saturdays; and I love how you are nice and I can not believe how you can be so handsome every day.

So I hope you stay the same every single day. Every body that knows you will always be there for you and always love you.”

I read this. I wiped my eyes. I hugged my daughter and thanked her. And today…I didn’t worry too much.